Joan Rivers: Remembering an Icon

The comedian and actress Joan Rivers passed away at age 81 on September 4th in New York City after complications from elective surgery. Rivers was known for her great sense of humor and her witty comments.  Here are a few of her famous quotes during her years as a Hollywood comedian and style guru:

“At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.”

“I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”

“I was born in 1962 … and the room next to me was 1963.”

“I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn’t toss and turn, we’d never have had the kid.”

“I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again.”

“A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.”

“Don’t tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won’t respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, ‘Melissa, you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.’”

“Did you hear Tom Cruise just had a baby? He was there when it was born … he should have been there when it was conceived.”

“My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I’d scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus – that way, I’d visit him every day.”

“I’m no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.”

“I’ve learned: When you get older, who cares? I don’t mince words, I don’t hold back. What are you gonna do to me? Fire me? It’s been done. Threaten to commit suicide? Done. Take away my show? Done! Not invite to me to the Vanity Fair party? I’ve never been invited!”

“The thing is, I’m happiest when I’m on stage.”

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